My ex had trouble standing up to his ex wife; he was so scared that he would lose custody of his son altogether. It made no sense to me and I grew to resent my ex and his son and the ex wife. Now that kid of his is in college.
In my second relationship, the ex had older, college aged kids but his ex wife hated me or hated the idea of me. She would say horrible things about me to the kids who would then run and tell their Dad. My ex caved and I was uninvited. I date a lot on line and I meet single fathers.
In my opinion, these men were very selfish. I wasted too much time on the wrong men. I take responsibility for those poor decisions. But, single parents can be selfish too. Somehow, they felt justified because they were dissing me to parent their children.
This guy is super handsome, and educated. Loves talking about his kids and how he loves taking care of them and adores shuttling them around. He tells me about the cute things they do….. And, it also tells me that I am competing with those kids. So, why do I write all this? I own a business. I care about many things and people depend on me. I also care for my mother after my Dad died unexpectedly a couple of years ago.
I am not a selfish woman. So, I submit the following: People without kids get that your kids come first. Quite frankly, I think some single parents hang on to those excuses as a way to manage their own guilt and anxiety over dating.
Also, I wanted to challenge the way Americans like to glorify parenting. During our initial interaction, he shared that he is 1 divorced, and 2 the father of a school-aged girl. He is a young professional in the public service industry- definitely in his 30s and very attractive imo. Initially, we definitely have some interests in common: He opened up a little about his struggle to find a home church since his divorce, so I invited him to mine!
I have a feeling I will see him tomorrow. It definitely helps to have some perspective regarding what he might appreciate in a woman. I love children and have always dreamed of having them, but labor is almost an alien concept. I typically give up before attempting to wrap my head around it… I guess that is my fear.
I have room in my heart to love a child!!! I love education and would relish the opportunity to engage with my own children the way my parents engaged with me. I can hug and kiss and listen and encourage and be supportive.
To me, having a family is so aspirational! I pray about it every day: I still want all of these things, and I want to be helpful to a good man who wants these things as well! I wish you the best in your dating. What a powerful post. Thank you for your honest words. Dads with kids will be a bit protective at first. Always support their kids as a priority.
Offer you connective support, but let the dad and the kids be the guide as things move along.
Church is a great starting point, I hope he shows up tomorrow. People need to understand that if they are a single parent they are asking a lot of potential partner a lot.
Next, and their kids for single parents. They can work but only with a lot of effort and love. I have been disappointed many times by the men in my life. Also, I wanted to challenge the way Americans like to glorify parenting. Over the summer he was a teacher and coach I wanted to see him really put in some quality time for us.
And they need to show consideration and frankly appreciation of that fact. Blended families are difficult to make work. They can work but only with a lot of effort and love. I grew up in one I know they take a lot of effort. I dated a guy recently who had a child and a busy job.
Over the summer he was a teacher and coach I wanted to see him really put in some quality time for us. He was making more time, it was clear I was last priority. I cared about him deeply really wanted to make the relationship work so I was trying to communicate what I needed. But in the end I needed to think about my desire for a family.
Hi, my name is Jim and I just turned 40 this January. I am a single dad with full custody of my two sons who are 14 and 8. I lived with their mom for 4 years and then we were married for nearly 12, the last 2 of which we were separated. I have been the sole caretaker of the boys for about 4 years now.
They see their mom every other Saturday and I get them back Sunday at I thought it would make me appear more stable and caring but they seem to only see more baggage. I have almost zero drama with my ex-wife and I make all of the decisions about the boys so she is not baggage only the kids. I am very picky but I feel I have a responsibility to my boys and me. Last August a friend introduced me to her sister. She is a year-old single mom of an awesome 2-year-old little boy. His father is basically absent and sees him every few months.
She is a nurse at the local hospital and has been there for 12 years. Owns her own home and drives a nice car. She is very independent; almost to a fault. So 30 minutes into our first date I found myself looking forward to our 4th and fifth dates.
Yeah I was hooked. Things had been going good and we were making plans for a vacation with the 3 kids and us. Her little guy was starting to call me daddy some and my kids absolutely adore her. She was the first woman I have dated that ever even met my kids and she was so great with them. She would help with their homework while I made dinner. I accepted her little guy as if he was one of mine.
A few weeks ago she was acting odd and finally told me that after all we have done she is not in love and not ready for a long-term relationship. I felt like a truck had just run over me. I was only a few months away from asking her to marry me.
siocompsanne.cf She tells me to hang in there. Give her some space and time and hopefully she will realize what she is giving up. Does that only happen in movies? What is a realistic amount of time? All my friends tell me to start dating right away but the idea of being with anyone but her does not appeal to me. She was in no way perfect, nor am I but we were great together and I know we would make an awesome family.
The way I feel right now is completely stressed out and missing her like crazy. I have respected her requests and given her space and not been the stalker guy begging her to come back. Last week I did ask her to see a movie with me. I thought a lot about you this weekend and kept drawing back to my own experiences of Dating as a Divorced Dad during my first "official months".